One year ago to the day my life was quite different than it is now as I write this.
The Friday before Thanksgiving I recieved word that the position I had been recently hired for was being put " on hold" due to contract complications and that I was to stop the work I had been doing and that " they would be in touch once the terms had been renegotiated." At the time Abby was just over a year and a half old and Molly was less than two months away from giving birth to Bubba. Scary does not even begin to scratch the surface. A lot had already happened in the previous months and this was a blow that I was having trouble treating the way I had all the previous obstacles. How would we survive? How would I make sure that my wife and unborn son would receive the proper medical attention? What if Abby needed a doctor? How would I pay our bills? Keep a roof over our head? A vehicle? How would we eat? How do I make my family believe that we will be okay when I myself did not know how?
For the better part of twelve years my motto had been this. Prefaced by saying we make one choice every single day, " you are either a victim of life or a student of living." ...................Now this was born of a time in my life that had been difficult, but at that time I did not have a family to take care of. I had encountered hundreds of people and shared this motto as the years rolled by, and through very hard work had been living a life where my worries or concerns were laughable compared to what was before me now.
Times would get much worse before they got better.
We quietly sold everything we had of any value, so we could pay Molly's doctor, our rent, bills, food. I sent resume after resume in, filled out many applications, felt defeated when I would not get a job that I considered to be a "sure" thing.
Then we had to sell even the things we considered to be off limits. My truck which was the nicest vehicle I had ever owned was when I knew shit had gotten real. The cash we got from that went to the doctor, bills, food, and an $800 dollar 1993 Mazda pickup that had a Ford Ranger driver side door and an engine from a Ford Taurus. It had no A/C and no heat. Sometimes it started and sometimes I had to push start it ( was always a good warm up). I would continue to submit applications and resumes while doing any temporary work I could find as well. It was difficult to remain who I am during this time. Christmas was upon us and I avoided inquiries as to what I was getting for Molly or Abby. I found a couple of one day "gigs" skipped a bunch of meals and was able to get a few presents for the two of them. My gift was finding a way for my Very pregnant wife and beautiful little girl to feel like Christmas didn't skip us. Molly was busy as well, I received my most treasured gift for my birthday/Christmas last year. My first pair of Nano's (green digi camo). I will never throw them out and rarely wear them now so as to preserve them. I was so thankful for them that I couldn't even bring myself to wear them for the first month I had them. Every time I see them I am reminded of our holiday season the year before. Our struggles would continue and our ability to be creative in ways of providing for our family would be honed to an art form before it starts to get better.....
Fast forward a year.
WE are still here plus one!
Thank you lord!!
The last twelve months have been the most trying of my life. WE are still here.
Our house has a lot less "stuff" in it and our drive way has a different vehicle parked in it. WE are still coming out of the hardest of times, but life is sweet and WE are still together. Stronger now than we have ever been. Stronger now than WE even knew possible.
I am still the student struggling daily for a passing grade, refusing to be the victim.
So here it is:
I am MOST thankful for my relationships in life! DO NOT miss one opportunity to tell someone you love that you love them. Do not wait until "next time" to say thank you to someone who has helped you in anyway no matter how big or small. BE a person that people want to be around, kind, warm, happy, encouraging, and most of all: in the moment. Be present in what you are doing. Do not let the world consume you in a pursuit of material things. Don't get me wrong, I am very aware of nice clothes, cars, homes.....things, and have enjoyed them all. Always be thankful for what you have, remember that it can ALWAYS be worse and at this very moment it is for someone else, maybe even someone you know. When all of the "stuff" is gone our relationships that are real and worthwhile remain, love them, nurture them, and protect them at all cost. Because any and everything in this world can be taken from you, but who we are in OUR relationships is forever, it is your legacy, your most valuable gift to give, and what we should all be most thankful for. They are built through an investment of love and time, do not take for granted that time is on your side in this, no regrets, because we could be gone today or get a call that a loved one is no longer with us tomorrow. There will never be a better time than now to take the time to nurture, build, or repair our relationships. If you want someone to know you love them, tell them...NOW. If you are thankful, tell them...NOW. Let there be no assumptions in feelings or opportunities to come.
I recently took part in a memorial WOD for Alex A. Viola. A young man killed in Afghanistan November 17th. Those hosting the WOD knew Alex personally and had served with him. I shared a blog entry by his sister on my Facebook page the morning of the memorial. READ It! Through the pain, his sister and teammates told stories of how because of their relationships with Alex their lives had been enriched. This is his legacy, it is his gift, and he must have understood that because those who spoke of Alex did so with such love and admiration that you knew they felt thankful and blessed to have had a relationship with him.
Here is my request. DO NOT WAIT for everything in your life to be taken from you to understand this. DO NOT WAIT for news of a friend or loved one being taken suddenly to want an opportunity to tell them something. KNOW that our relationships are our most valuable gifts to treasure and be thankful for...........GIVE that thanks right now.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
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